× 翻译是不同文化交流的桥梁,翻译是全球化过程中的一个重要角色! 翻译是不同文化交流的桥梁,翻译是全球化过程中的一个重要角色! 在这里你可以享受翻译的乐趣,在这里你可以与他人共同学习共同进步分享翻译的酸甜苦辣!竞争、淘汰!翻译竞技,欢迎各位翻译高手来这里打擂!请文明交流,请勿人身攻击!

Topic-icon 诗词翻译练习帖,与美国几位翻译教授的讨论帖

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2016-08-08 09:47 #21 刘小曼36
刘小曼36 回复: (1) 古词英译:金缕曲 (2) 双语原创“几多愁” (3)英译“蝶恋花”
正是立秋时节,知己告别, 借一首自己的习作聊表心情。 无限祝福~~~ 前途美好,光明!



古词英译:金缕曲
(其二) 顾贞观

其二


我亦飘零久!十年来,深恩负尽,死生师友。宿昔齐名非忝窃,只看杜陵消瘦,曾不减,夜郎僝僽,薄命长辞知已别,问人生到此凄凉否?千万恨,为君剖。

兄生辛未吾丁丑,共此时,冰霜摧折,早衰蒲柳。诗赋从今须少作,留取心魄相守。但愿得,河清人寿!归日急翻行戍稿,把空名料理传身后。言不尽,观顿首。


I've also wandered forever and a day!
For the last ten years, I regretted not to pay
my teacher and friends who shared my hard time,
and my joys back in those years, my prime.
Back then they said we shared the same fame,
it seemed to be true, that almost as the same
as Du Fu who was so worried about Li Bai,
not less than Li Bai himself who had been exiled.
Alas, look at me now, I have lost my wife,
separated with my bosom friend, what a life!
I have so much resentment need to tell.
I will pour my heart out to you all in detail.
You were born in Xinwei year and I Dingchou,
Both of us have suffered from ice and snow.
We all look haggard as if dead willows trees,
I advise that you should write less poetries.
Take care of yourself, and let's stay together,
I wish the Yellow River will be clear,
and both of us will have a long lifespan!
When you come back from the frontier, then
in no time you will sort out all your scripts,
and then pass them on to our descendants.
But I think we will deal with misery,
before we can receive any glory.
Words in my heart never come out enough,
I knock my head, pay my respect with love.


Translator: Xiaoman
Feb. 20, 2015

使君才气卷波澜,与把好诗再译。 “英诗精选100首汉译” 其中24首儿童诗妙趣横生。作者:加拿大刘小曼
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2016-08-08 21:34 - 2016-08-08 22:11 #22 刘小曼36
刘小曼36 回复: (1) 古词英译:金缕曲 (2) 双语原创“几多愁” (3)英译“蝶恋花”
英译: 凉州词 二首 王翰

【其一】

葡萄美酒夜光杯2,欲3饮琵琶4马上催5。

醉卧沙场6君7莫笑,古来征战8几人回。




The fine grape wine is held in the luminous cups,
the rapid Pipa on the horse starts to entertain us.
Don't laugh if we lie drunk on the battlefield,
How many would return from the war? Only a few!




August 8, 2016

使君才气卷波澜,与把好诗再译。 “英诗精选100首汉译” 其中24首儿童诗妙趣横生。作者:加拿大刘小曼
我的博客详细介绍http://www.backchina.com/u/358517
最后修改: 2016-08-08 22:11 由 刘小曼36.

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2016-08-09 09:17 - 2016-08-09 09:59 #23 刘小曼36
刘小曼36 回复: (1) 古词英译:金缕曲 (2) 双语原创“几多愁” (3)英译“蝶恋花”
学写十四行诗 (2):写商籁的诗人 The Poet Who Writes Sonnets

Rhyming scheme: 押韵格式 abba cddc effe gg

Some say that all poets like alcohol,
Without which they can't produce any poems,
And gradually this may be some problems.
Some say no, just some of them, but not all.
I'm a happy bottle, never been blue,
I was born to contain the tasty wine,
When in my prime I looked perfectly fine,
Wine was instilled into me after it's brewed.
But now I am emptied by this poet,
who just flicked his hand and put me aside,
And to the screen he fixes his drunken eyes,
He is trying to write a nice sonnet.
Now his eyes are gleamed with sparkling fire,
Can he write one that' ll feed his readers' desire?

有人说所有的诗人都爱喝酒,
没有酒就写不出任何诗来,
慢慢地,这个可能成为一些问题。
有人说不,非全部诗人都爱喝酒。
我是一只开心的瓶子,不知道忧愁,
生来就是去装载美酒的,
在我的全盛时期,我美轮美奂---
被注入刚刚酿好的酒。
但是现在我被这位诗人倒空了.
他摆摆手,然后把我放一边去,
然后他用醉眼盯着电脑荧屏,
尝试去写一首漂亮的商籁。
现在他的眼睛闪烁着火一般的光芒,
他能写一首给以读者慰藉的诗吗?


作者:Xiaoman
August 8, 2016

使君才气卷波澜,与把好诗再译。 “英诗精选100首汉译” 其中24首儿童诗妙趣横生。作者:加拿大刘小曼
我的博客详细介绍http://www.backchina.com/u/358517
最后修改: 2016-08-09 09:59 由 刘小曼36.

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2016-08-09 22:57 - 2016-08-09 22:58 #24 刘小曼36
刘小曼36 回复: (1) 古词英译:金缕曲 (2) 双语原创“几多愁” (3)英译“蝶恋花”
阮郎归----伤情


闲池落红乱纷纷,画阁青氛氲。独步小园看风云, 闻残香余芬。
爬山虎,绿罗裙,如今墙皱纹。晚春时节未逢君, 伤情无数斤。

(平水韵上平十二文)

Withered petals drift in the pool,
The thin mist shrouds the loft roof,
Alone I wander in the small garden,
Breezes, clouds, residual fragrance.
Ivies on the wall--olive skirts back then,
Now the wrinkles in depression.
Oh, without you things are so different,
My heart feels such a heavy burden.

July, 2015


(更多英语社区和中文社区的评论稍后贴上)

使君才气卷波澜,与把好诗再译。 “英诗精选100首汉译” 其中24首儿童诗妙趣横生。作者:加拿大刘小曼
我的博客详细介绍http://www.backchina.com/u/358517
最后修改: 2016-08-09 22:58 由 刘小曼36.

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2016-08-10 08:12 - 2016-08-10 08:13 #25 刘小曼36
刘小曼36 回复: (1) 古词英译:金缕曲 (2) 双语原创“几多愁” (3)英译“蝶恋花”
I just modified it accordingly based on the advice by a net friend

www.writingforums.com/threads/167454-The...t-Who-Writes-Sonnets




Some say that all poets like alcohol,
Without which they can't produce any poem,
And gradually this may be a problem.
Some say no, just some of them, but not all.
I'm a happy bottle, never been blue,
I was born to contain tasty wine,
When in my prime I looked perfectly fine,
as time went by, the wine value grew.
But now I am emptied by this poet,
who just flicked his hand and put me aside,
And to the screen he fixes his drunken eyes,
He is trying to write a nice sonnet.
Now his eyes gleam with sparkling fire,
Can he write one that feeds his readers' desire?

使君才气卷波澜,与把好诗再译。 “英诗精选100首汉译” 其中24首儿童诗妙趣横生。作者:加拿大刘小曼
我的博客详细介绍http://www.backchina.com/u/358517
最后修改: 2016-08-10 08:13 由 刘小曼36.

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2016-08-10 22:44 #26 刘小曼36
刘小曼36 回复: (1) 古词英译:金缕曲 (2) 双语原创“几多愁” (3)英译“蝶恋花”
咏荷 (一枝独秀 藏头)

一擎清雅出凡尘,
枝下淤泥纯洁身。
独爱瑶池飘逸客,
秀亭净植馥迷人。

(修改稿)

August 10, 2016

使君才气卷波澜,与把好诗再译。 “英诗精选100首汉译” 其中24首儿童诗妙趣横生。作者:加拿大刘小曼
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2016-08-11 05:54 #27 刘小曼36
刘小曼36 回复: (1) 古词英译:金缕曲 (2) 双语原创“几多愁” (3)英译“蝶恋花”
评海外 “夜雨寄北” 英译


夜雨寄北(唐)李商隱(中译英)

君問歸期未有期﹐巴山夜雨漲秋池。何當共剪西窗燭﹐卻話巴山夜雨時。

Mail To North In Night Rain
by Li Shangyin

If you ask when I return, I'm not sure.
Night rain fill’d the autumn pool from Ba Hill.
When can we snuff candles by west window again
And talk about the night rain from Ba Hill?



刘小曼评:

翻译得够差。 中文太差理解不了原诗。英语太差,表达不了他自己到底想说什么。 如廖博士说的,这个ID确实只会糟蹋古诗。 但作为反面教材,各位老师,同学可以一用。
英语每句都有错。而且他没能理解诗的内容。



原诗意思:

“你問我回家的日子,我尚未定歸期;

  今晚巴山下著大雨,雨水漲滿池子。


  何時你我重新聚首,共在西窗燭芯;


  再告訴你今夜秋雨,我痛苦的思念。”




使君才气卷波澜。与把好诗再译


2016-8-10 16:16
博客 资料 短信 编辑 引用 报告



Xiaoman




#2


我的翻译,初稿,没有参考任何译本:


You asked my return date, I 've yet to decide,
Bashan's rain is filling the pool tonight.
When can we cut the wick at the west window again?
Then I will tell you tonight's rain and my pain.

使君才气卷波澜,与把好诗再译。 “英诗精选100首汉译” 其中24首儿童诗妙趣横生。作者:加拿大刘小曼
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2016-08-11 22:47 #28 刘小曼36
刘小曼36 回复: (1) 古词英译:金缕曲 (2) 双语原创“几多愁” (3)英译“蝶恋花”
The Ode To Resentment (translation)




Writer: Jiangyan

Translator: Liu Xiaoman

Thousands of miles of prairies are under the autumn sky,
This is the remnant of the field for the ancients to fight.
Looking ahead, bones tangled with weeds can be seen,
And dark forests and dead woods are in the scene.
It seems so desolate, as if the spirits filled hell,
If not coming this far, you'd never known the good and evil.
Sorrows are everywhere and they hurt my painful heart,
What conjures up in my mind now is the dead afar.
Thinking of that, yonder, how many are holding grief,
bearing the pain until they die and still can't relieve?

Qin Shi Huang raised his sword toward the east,
But the troops of the nine alliances marched the west.
All the lords had fought endless for hundreds of years,
Driving the world to spin and the sun and moon have fears.
At last, Qin Shi Huang conquered the world,
Chopped all other civilizations into pieces with his sword.
Relying on the Mount Hua as the city wall,
and the bottomless deep moat to protect them all,
they had completed their great business----
calmed down the world, but hadn't changed their cruelties.
The regime was not stable, everything was changeable,
Thirty years of youth disappeared and not returnable.
Leaving only the loss and fears;soldiers guarding
the borders were dying, and their spirits toward west, flying.

After the King Zhao was captured, he left the vast territory
which had been guarded by his ancestors for almost a century.
Now he was riding the horse which was sadly wailing,
Followed by his men with tears, marching toward Fang Ling.
Whenever the sun set he recalled many things happened before,
But now all masonry and thrones in the palace were no more.
Recalling again and again, every time made him feel so hard,
Good bye luxury wagons and beautiful girls in his heart!
When he raised his cup, wanting to drown his sorrow,
All his sorrows and sadness poured out like waves and snow.
Alas! What a hateful thing: his ambition had been wasted,
and his young mind got old, leaving him feel frustrated!


A sad life he lived, although his fame was still there,
he held too much grudge that his fame could never compare.
Li Ling fought in deserts, marched to the north many miles,
but he still couldn't resist the cavalries of the barbarian tribes.
He bowed his head, his glory had become his infamy and shame,
All he had now was the bad memories and a bad name.
He pulled out his sword and hit the jade pole which was not real,
the unreal shadows, the ghost with grievance shivered in chill.
His heart was still with Han--staying in Yanmen, he had no choice.
How could the broken silk fabrics be used to express his voice?
"Let me go and die! In my next life I will pay back to you!"
Years later when the hazy sky was broken by the drops of dew.
His bad memories of life and death came back to him again,
if he could see his folks, what could he say beside the pain?

When Princess Ming was leaving, she heaved a sigh to the sky,
She sighed for her life, the cruelty she would face never be light.
The imperial wagons gradually disappeared in the hazy distance,
Thousands of miles away, how to fly back to see each other often?
In the long sky, when winds blew so high, the sun set to the horizon.
Geese in the Long areas flew south, leaving clouds alone.
At the moment, what could the Emperor back home think about?
The heavy sadness sent by the Barbarian Pipa was so loud!

Feng Yan was discharged from the army and went back home,
Ever since he refused to see any one, being so sad alone.
His wife and children remained all the same, nothing special,
But without a title, he was even belittled by a small official.
His big dream broke; he sighed in sorrow every day,
Talents were not used, his sad feelings could not go away.

Ji Kang drank alone at dusk, loneliness was his company,
He played the qin at dawn, he saw the sad autumn scenery.
As if in a trance, the Qinming sword rose high up into the air,
Reflecting the long dark night with its shine and flare.
The lonely old courtier once shed tears of regret and grievance,
His unfilial offspring would feel sad because of their ignorance.
The boundless waves might remind him of the life in exile.
The bad news hurt his heart which flew in winds for a long time,
Tears were hart to stop, and when they changed into blood,
How much bitterness could we taste when them came like flood?
We sought for the solemn tragedy of being defeated, but we failed,
We could not find the sadness by the yellowish dust trail.


Years had gone by, horseshoes had buried many a dynasty,
The wheel tracks turned into a silver river which was flowery.
Yellow smoke billowed; sad songs rose from souls' corner,
as time went by tears and blood disappeared in the desert.
Bones of the last horse whimpered into the cold spring,
Everything would be slowly going to reach an ending.
Seasons kept changing, time elapsed in winds and rain,
Grass kept growing, winds died down and picked up again.
Silk had lost their brilliance; red tiles had peeled off and
the harp strings broke; hills transformed into level lands.
Mountains and rivers remained unchanged;
Everyone must die, the natural rules never be changed!
But the country was no longer the same!
Seeing all these, who wouldn't sob for such a shame?

(The End)

Translator: 小贝壳

Writer: Jiang Yan (444-505) en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jiang_Yan

The Original Version 恨赋:

baike.baidu.com/view/30666.htm



作品原文

编辑

试望平原,蔓草萦⑴骨,拱木敛魂。人生到此,天道宁论?于是仆本恨人,心惊不已。直念古者,伏恨而死。

至如秦帝按剑,诸侯西驰。削平天下,同文共规,华山为城,紫渊为池。雄图既溢,武力未毕。方架鼋⑵鼍⑶以为梁,巡海右以送日。一旦魂断,宫车晚出。

若乃赵王既虏,迁于房陵。薄暮心动,昧旦神兴。别艳姬与美女,丧金舆及玉乘。置酒欲饮,悲来填膺。千秋万岁,为怨难胜。

至如李君降北,名辱身冤。拔剑击柱,吊影惭魂。情往上郡,心留雁门。裂帛系书,誓还汉恩。朝露溘⑷至,握手何言?

若夫明妃去时,仰天太息。紫台稍远,关山无极。摇风忽起,白日西匿。陇雁少飞,代云寡色。望君王兮何期?终芜绝兮异域。

至乃敬通见抵,罢归田里。闭关却扫,塞门不仕。左对孺人,顾弄稚子。脱略公卿,跌宕⑸文史。 赍⑹志没地,长怀无已。

及夫中散下狱,神气激扬。浊醪⑺夕引,素琴晨张。秋日萧索,浮云无光。郁青霞之奇意,入修夜之不旸⑻。

或有孤臣危涕,孽子坠心。迁客海上,流戍陇阴,此人但闻悲风汩⑼起,血下沾衿⑽。亦复含酸茹叹,销落湮沉。

若乃骑叠迹,车屯轨,黄尘匝地,歌吹四起。无不烟断火绝,闭骨泉里。

已矣哉!春草暮兮秋风惊,秋风罢兮春草生。绮罗毕兮池馆尽,琴瑟灭兮丘垄平。自古皆有死,莫不饮恨而吞声。

使君才气卷波澜,与把好诗再译。 “英诗精选100首汉译” 其中24首儿童诗妙趣横生。作者:加拿大刘小曼
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2016-08-12 01:06 #29 刘小曼36
刘小曼36 回复: (1) 古词英译:金缕曲 (2) 双语原创“几多愁” (3)英译“蝶恋花”
英译:永州八记(5)袁家渴记 徐英才 译 (0/8)

www.yidian.org/view-thread-23766.html

使君才气卷波澜,与把好诗再译。 “英诗精选100首汉译” 其中24首儿童诗妙趣横生。作者:加拿大刘小曼
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2016-08-12 08:48 #30 刘小曼36
刘小曼36 回复: (1) 古词英译:金缕曲 (2) 双语原创“几多愁” (3)英译“蝶恋花”
点评“海外” 的 “恨赋” 译文

www.yidian.org/view-thread-23767.html

惨不忍睹的反面教材。 和 高手 “小草” 讨论中,多谢关注!

使君才气卷波澜,与把好诗再译。 “英诗精选100首汉译” 其中24首儿童诗妙趣横生。作者:加拿大刘小曼
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