× 翻译是不同文化交流的桥梁,翻译是全球化过程中的一个重要角色! 翻译是不同文化交流的桥梁,翻译是全球化过程中的一个重要角色! 在这里你可以享受翻译的乐趣,在这里你可以与他人共同学习共同进步分享翻译的酸甜苦辣!竞争、淘汰!翻译竞技,欢迎各位翻译高手来这里打擂!请文明交流,请勿人身攻击!

Topic-icon 诗词翻译练习帖,与美国几位翻译教授的讨论帖

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2016-07-26 11:36 - 2016-09-16 21:34 #1 刘小曼36
刘小曼36 : 诗词翻译练习帖,与美国几位翻译教授的讨论帖
古词英译:金缕曲
(其二) 顾贞观

其二


我亦飘零久!十年来,深恩负尽,死生师友。宿昔齐名非忝窃,只看杜陵消瘦,曾不减,夜郎僝僽,薄命长辞知已别,问人生到此凄凉否?千万恨,为君剖。

兄生辛未吾丁丑,共此时,冰霜摧折,早衰蒲柳。诗赋从今须少作,留取心魄相守。但愿得,河清人寿!归日急翻行戍稿,把空名料理传身后。言不尽,观顿首。


I've also wandered forever and a day!
For the last ten years, I regretted not to pay
my teacher and friends who shared my hard time,
and my joys back in my prime.
Back then they said we shared the same fame,
it seemed to be true, that almost as the same
as Du Fu who was so worried about Li Bai,
not less than Li Bai himself who had been exiled.
Alas, look at me now, I have lost my wife,
separated with my bosom friend, what a life!
I have so much resentment and hatred need to tell.
I will pour my heart out to you all in detail.
You were born in Xinwei year and I Dingchou,
Both of us have suffered from ice and snow.
We all look haggard as if dead willows trees,
I advise that you should write less poetries.
Take care of yourself, and let's stay together,
I wish the Yellow River will be clear,
and both of us will have a long lifespan!
When you come back from the frontier, then
in no time you will sort out all your scripts,
and then pass them on to our descendants.
But I think we will deal with misery,
before we can receive any glory.
Words in my heart never come out enough,
I knock my head, pay my respect with love.


Translator:
刘小曼 Feb. 20, 2015

自吟自唱: 几多愁 vocaroo.com/player.swf?playMediaID=s1fM8CS95tuL&autoplay=0

绵绵细雨何时了,
滴滴伴寂寥。
小城昨夜月如琼,
今日那堪凄风冷雨中。
晚春美景应犹在,
只是心情改。
问君能有几多愁?
酒入愁肠泪湿春衫袖。


When will the constant drizzle stop?
My lonely feeling is hurt by every drop.
The small town sky was still clear yesterday,
But it is in cold rain and sorrowful wind today.
The late spring beautiful scene should be still here,
But my nice mood is about to disappear,
how much worry and sadness will my heart allow?
Let the wine turn into tears to wet my blouse.


Writer: Xiaoman, June 14, 2014


(2) 蝶恋花(暮春别李公择)苏轼

簌簌无风花自亸。寂寞园林,柳老樱桃过。落日多情还照坐。山青一点横云破。 
路尽河回千转柁。系缆渔村,月暗孤灯火。凭仗飞魂招楚些。我思君处君思我。


Butterflies Love Flowers


Flowers rustle and fall alone while no wind blows,
In the lonely garden, getting old are cherries and willows.
The setting sun shines on where we sit with sentiment,
Lying on the top of that mountain clouds look broken.
The road ends in where the river turns; the rudder gets fatigued.
We park in the fishing village; light and moon look desolate,
My soul flies, and I lean on my stick, calling your name,
Oh, my friend I will miss you and I know you will do the same.


Translator 刘小曼 2015

来源 www.backchina.com/blog/358517/article-255352.html

使君才气卷波澜,与把好诗再译。 “英诗精选100首汉译” 其中24首儿童诗妙趣横生。作者:加拿大刘小曼
我的博客详细介绍http://www.backchina.com/u/358517
最后修改: 2016-09-16 21:34 由 刘小曼36.

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2016-07-26 11:47 - 2016-08-15 02:40 #2 刘小曼36
刘小曼36 回复: (1) 古词英译:金缕曲 (2) 双语原创“几多愁” (3)英译“蝶恋花” (4)十四行诗,双行体,(5)笑话演讲等等
(1)三年前我翻译的第一首英诗 :

断线了 作者: 瑞恩 · 哈威



沿岸一路走着瞅

河水清澈又温柔

西风吹过摇醒树

甜蜜轻盈起舞步

太阳累倒天空躺

时间无多我试尝

振臂抛杆像抛锤

姿态优雅真没吹

钓线冲天一英里

我的微笑甜不腻

姿势绝对王豆腐 (@)  

鱼诱落入最好处

从容收线不心急

突然邪恶来袭击

慌忙用力拉回头

感觉鱼竿的颤抖

坏鱼偷饵等不了

整个郊游变不妙

倒霉透顶难言表

鱼唇上饵七大洋

恨极本帅牙发痒

无奈垂头收鱼竿

这次算它走运啦

下次给它颜色看


王豆腐 (A)--Wonderful 的谐音 



A Break in the Line
© Ryan S. Harvey

Source: www.poetryinnature.com/nature/poetry.asp?poem=5323

I walk up to the river and in it I peer.

So soothing is the water and crystal clear.

A slight wind from the west awakens the trees.

I watch as they dance in this sweet cool breeze.

Tired is the sun as it sinks in the sky.

Little time left so my best I must try.

I reach back with my arm then bring it down like a hammer.

Releasing my line, in the most graceful of manner.

Through the air my lure soars, what seems like a mile.

Evoking from me, a most pleasurable smile.

A perfect cast, a wonderful shot.

I see my bait slip flawlessly into the best of spots.

Slowly I reel taking in slack.

Just then an explosion, a vicious attack.

Hard I pull back.

Then from nowhere a snap.

The fish was gone to travel on.

An outing on the bank all gone wrong.

A 7 Dollar lure still in his lip.

I hang my head low holding my rod at my hip.

He got lucky this time, but not the next trip.



(2)我手机丢了(原创)

I Lost My Cell Phone 我手机丢了

Yesterday I lost my dear cell phone
which cost me $$$$$ bucks alone.
I was so upset being on my own,
wanted to hit my forehead with a soft bone,
or a piece of tofu, but never a stone.
I searched even the box of ice cream cone,
when my neighbor called me by her phone,
I heard the familiar and unique ringtone
being sent from my next door hair salon
我价值N 块钱的手机

昨天被我弄丢了

我独个儿真是忒郁闷呀

想拿块软骨敲自己的额头

或拿块豆腐,反正不是石头

我到处找呀找,

甚至在装冰激凌蛋卷的盒子里找

当我邻居用她的电话打给我的时候

我听到一阵熟识又独特的电话铃声

从隔壁发廊传来

使君才气卷波澜,与把好诗再译。 “英诗精选100首汉译” 其中24首儿童诗妙趣横生。作者:加拿大刘小曼
我的博客详细介绍http://www.backchina.com/u/358517
最后修改: 2016-08-15 02:40 由 刘小曼36.

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2016-07-28 00:15 - 2016-07-28 04:32 #3 刘小曼36
刘小曼36 回复: (1) 古词英译:金缕曲 (2) 双语原创“几多愁” (3)英译“蝶恋花”
休假

高山流水伴胡笳,风暖熏得午睡佳。
醒来下午茶正好,另添两片哈密瓜。
美景良辰夏日长,夜晚八点夕阳斜。
人道加国大家拿,吾非偷懒拿大家。

High Mountain and Running Water plus a nomad flute song
had made me sound asleep the all afternoon long.
Then I found myself waking up right at the teatime,
my tea was wonderful, and I ate two more honeydew slices.
The summer day lasted longer, giving me more happy hours,
after eight in the dusk the sinking sun still strongly shone,
They say Canada is the Heaven on earth--a comfort zone,
But I just spent my vacation today, I am not a lazybones.


作者:刘小曼 更多作品,欢迎来造访我的博客。



@ Tea 英式用法,不单是茶,还有三文治,蛋糕等点心。

www.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/english/tea

3 chiefly British A light afternoon meal consisting typically of tea to drink, sandwiches, and cakes: they were about to take afternoon tea [count noun]: picnic teas


July 26, 2016 (我听音乐,睡午觉,吃下午茶,享受良辰美景,我不是游手好闲,是在休假。 高山流水,胡笳十八拍,曲名)

七律类型二
⊙平⊙仄仄平平(韵)
⊙仄平平⊙仄平(韵)
⊙仄⊙平⊙仄仄
⊙平⊙仄仄平平(韵)
⊙平⊙仄⊙平仄
⊙仄平平⊙仄平(韵)
⊙仄⊙平⊙仄仄
⊙平⊙仄仄平平(韵)

使君才气卷波澜,与把好诗再译。 “英诗精选100首汉译” 其中24首儿童诗妙趣横生。作者:加拿大刘小曼
我的博客详细介绍http://www.backchina.com/u/358517
最后修改: 2016-07-28 04:32 由 刘小曼36.

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2016-07-31 23:12 #4 刘小曼36
刘小曼36 回复: (1) 古词英译:金缕曲 (2) 双语原创“几多愁” (3)英译“蝶恋花”
Ducks


Shall I compare thee to a parrot?
You are talkative, you talk a lot!
You are strong-built with nice feather,
You walk elegantly with no fear, never.

Sometimes too thick are the clouds in the sky,
then it rains heavily like dogs and cats fly.
and your feathers are smooth and water proof,
so water on your back never get through.

And the hardest part you have are your bills,
you embarrass hens with your talking skills.
They help you look for food and stomping ground.
We the first ones to know the spring!You insist loud.


So long as men can eat, and eat good,
So long this will praise that you're the best food.

April 30, 2016
After reading sonnet 18, Shakespeare. Roast duck is one of my favorite foods.



读者评论:http://www.writingforums.com/threads/165328-Ducks









我怎能将你比作鹦鹉,
你口才了得,顶呱呱。
你身材结实,羽毛丰富,
大摇大摆,什么都不怕。



天上的云彩有时过厚,
压抑成雨,落下不住。
而你的丰羽光滑如油,
雨淋后背,你防水有术。


坚硬给力的是你的嘴巴,
绝对不怕母鸡与你辩论。
觅食掐架占地盘,全靠它,
你们说自己第一个知道春。



只要还有人类,人还需吃饭,
这首诗就长存,你们就获赞。



(烤鸭是我喜欢的菜。问候各位,周末愉快!)

April 30, 2016

使君才气卷波澜,与把好诗再译。 “英诗精选100首汉译” 其中24首儿童诗妙趣横生。作者:加拿大刘小曼
我的博客详细介绍http://www.backchina.com/u/358517

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2016-08-01 14:45 #5 potatoclay
potatoclay 回复: (1) 古词英译:金缕曲 (2) 双语原创“几多愁” (3)英译“蝶恋花”
Ducks
鸭说

Shall I compare thee to a parrot? 怎愿我将您比作鹦鹉?
You are talkative, you talk a lot! 你这口才,你说太多!
You are strong-built with nice feather, 你有美丽的羽毛且壮实饱满,
You walk elegantly with no fear, never. 你步态优雅无惧时光。

Sometimes too thick are the clouds in the sky, 天空不时太厚的云层,
then it rains heavily like dogs and cats fly. 即刻就有猫儿、狗儿飞舞。
and your feathers are smooth and water proof, 而你却有滑水的羽毛,
so water on your back never get through. 它的莫逆使你后背渡水。

And the hardest part you have are your bills, 与其说你最硬的那张嘴,
you embarrass hens with your talking skills. 不如谈资卓越地拥抱母鸡。
They help you look for food and stomping ground. 它们为你满地刨土找吃的。
We the first ones to know the spring!You insist loud. 你只需大声公布我们春天的来到。



海外君,刘先生,我擅自翻译了这首“诗”,它的美在于感情的释放,这年头压力大,谁都需要及时调整哈????!

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2016-08-01 18:19 #6 刘小曼36
刘小曼36 回复: (1) 古词英译:金缕曲 (2) 双语原创“几多愁” (3)英译“蝶恋花”
哈哈,好。谢谢potatoclay喜欢我的鸭子诗! :lol: 我请大家吃烤鸭,谢谢赏面。

看来这海外是懵了,他从来不说“请指教”这些话。

他说得最多的是“翻译太差。你们英语初学者,学会基本英语再来和我讨论”

看了这次他丑出大了。 :lol:

使君才气卷波澜,与把好诗再译。 “英诗精选100首汉译” 其中24首儿童诗妙趣横生。作者:加拿大刘小曼
我的博客详细介绍http://www.backchina.com/u/358517

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2016-08-03 02:27 - 2016-08-03 02:44 #7 刘小曼36
刘小曼36 回复: (1) 古词英译:金缕曲 (2) 双语原创“几多愁” (3)英译“蝶恋花”
杂文(18+)

www.backchina.com/blog/358517/article-256612.html

隔墙有耳和不胫而走 (18+)(杂文) 

 隔墙有耳的意思是walls have ears. Be careful what you say as people may be eavesdropping.
不胫而走的意思是spread like wildfire
Fig. [for something] to spread rapidly. Rumors spread like wildfire when people are excited. This disease will spread like wildfire when it gets going.

我读大学的时候,有一个学期住在市中心一间分上下层的House,我住地面的一个房间,上层听说是一个单身男人,但因为是分门出入,我从没见过那人。刚刚搬进去不久,一天下午我因为病得五颜六色,头痛,发烧,不能去上课,躺在床上咳嗽,一下像老了50岁。 刚刚快要睡着的时候我突然被“ah,ah!。。。。。”的声音惊醒。

肿么回事? 我被吓了一跳, 然后又来一阵声音, " oh, yes, oh, I like it, yes, right there, right there....oh, I love it. ah, honey, f**k me! " 是个女人在嚎叫,然后是个男的在喘气 ,"Oh,yes, baby, I am f**king you..." 然后是床铺咿咿呀呀的呻吟。马的,要拆房子吗? 我暗骂道。

我闭上眼睛,用耳塞堵住耳朵,希望能继续休息。

过一会我起来去拿水喝, 上边传来的声音更大了,似乎越来越嗨,床的声音,人的喊声,女人声音像杀猪,男人声音像屠夫,整一个屠场? 隔音怎么特么的差劲?他们的肮脏勾当就像在我眼前发生。

我拿出录音笔,拧开开关,把这些声音录下。

半小时后。我实在是受够了,我提高声音说:“Excuse me, I know I sound weird, but can you guys lower your voice a bit? I am so f**king sick and want to have some sleep. Thanks! "

楼上的声音马上停下来了。好像挺不好意思,几秒钟后,那蓝的说,“Oh, I am sorry..."


Phew,终于消停了,而我继续病了几天。 隔音实在不象话,难怪房租那么便宜。 一定要搬。

可怜这对情侣真是太投入忘了了楼下还有人。 当然,我没有把这个事情到处说,这本来是正常的事情。

我搬走之后也没见过那楼上的男人,要不肯定尴尬。 这件事情让我想到, 在网上,你写文章放出去,你不知道谁会看到,谁会看不到,所以发出后就无法控制“隔墙有耳” 了。 相反, 如果你文章写得好,自然会有帮你传出去, 这应该算不胫而走啦。

使君才气卷波澜,与把好诗再译。 “英诗精选100首汉译” 其中24首儿童诗妙趣横生。作者:加拿大刘小曼
我的博客详细介绍http://www.backchina.com/u/358517
最后修改: 2016-08-03 02:44 由 刘小曼36.

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2016-08-03 21:55 - 2016-08-04 02:40 #8 刘小曼36
刘小曼36 回复: (1) 古词英译:金缕曲 (2) 双语原创“几多愁” (3)英译“蝶恋花”
I Love You, Summer

Rhyming scheme 押韵格律: abba cddc effe gg 多谢不吝赐教!

Twenty degrees Celsius here, no complaint,
You can enjoy yourself on the cool sand,
While it is so hot somewhere in the inland,
that you can cook eggs on the top of a train.
In the woods, chickadees pleasantly sing,
happy as the happy face of the sun.
kids bike, run, laugh, having lots of fun,
in summer, you can do many a thing:
Gardening, barbecue, camping, chasing deer,
but not all the time using the internet.
if possible, tour around the planet,
if not, go to the farmer's market that's near.
oh, I love summer, your days and nights,
and wish my friends a good time with delights!

二十摄氏度,真的无话好说了,
当内陆的一些地方非常的热,
热得你可以在火车顶上煮鸡蛋,
而你可以在这里凉快的沙滩上享受。
树林里的山雀在愉快地歌唱,
开心得就如太阳快乐的笑脸。
小孩子们骑车,追跑,笑闹,乐趣多多,
夏日里,你能做的事情真不少呢:
园艺,烧烤,野营,逐鹿,
而不是全天候地上网。
如果有可能,还可以去环游世界,
要不然,去附近的农民市场逛逛也好。
哦,我爱夏日,你的日日夜夜,
也祝福我的朋友们夏安万福!

作者:小曼 August 3, 2016

bbs.wenxuecity.com/poetry/713892.html

使君才气卷波澜,与把好诗再译。 “英诗精选100首汉译” 其中24首儿童诗妙趣横生。作者:加拿大刘小曼
我的博客详细介绍http://www.backchina.com/u/358517
最后修改: 2016-08-04 02:40 由 刘小曼36.

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2016-08-04 02:43 - 2016-08-04 04:38 #9 刘小曼36
刘小曼36 回复: (1) 古词英译:金缕曲 (2) 双语原创“几多愁” (3)英译“蝶恋花”
廖康教授点评: I Love You, Summer

“不严格要求抑扬格的话,写得相当不错,很流畅。如果真想改进,则需在转折上下功夫。好的十四行诗都有意思上的变化(比如开始说好,后来说坏,反之亦然。我认为这比抑扬格更重要),连写了很多十四行诗的冯志都没有做到。”

来源:
www.yidian.org/viewthread.php?tid=23747&...sid=0nbPhy#pid156211

Yuanxiang老师 和 英语社区网友点评:

来源:
www.backchina.com/blog/358517/article-256705.html


Yuanxiang老师点评:

“ 建议慢点来 - yuanxiang - ♂ 给 yuanxiang 发送悄悄话 yuanxiang 的博客首页 yuanxiang 的个人群组 (23 bytes) (7 reads) 08/03/2016 07:20:48 (1)

• 多谢元老师指正! 夏安!~ - 小贝壳weed - ♀ 给 小贝壳weed 发送悄悄话 小贝壳weed 的个人群组 (0 bytes) (2 reads) 08/03/2016 10:23:27

• 我觉得总体还是很好的。中英双语都这么好,不容易。 - yuanxiang - ♂ 给 yuanxiang 发送悄悄话 yuanxiang 的博客首页 yuanxiang 的个人群组 (0 bytes) (0 reads) 08/03/2016 10:28:37 ”

英语社区网友点评:

“usually not the biggest fan of rhyming poetry but this feels better than most... not super forced (only forced rhyme for me was "complain/train", being the first line it did stand out a bit)

also i think chickadees may have had their time in the poetic limelight... i understand if in your mind the birds are literally chickadees but if any songbird would do theres so many to pick from with names just as fun. sorry i know its a weird critique, just something that came to my mind.

i feel this really creates a nice pastoral scene to live in, builds a picture of lower alabama for me, brought me right to being a kid escaping the heat to go to the coast.

writing happy poetry seems difficult and i liked this one, so bravo  ” 


“A delightful poem - but oh how I wish it was only 20° Celsius here. That would be my idea of comfort and bliss.

I really did enjoy your poem though, even though I was jealous of the cool temperature! ”

www.writingforums.com/threads/167355-I-L...=2022949#post2022949

使君才气卷波澜,与把好诗再译。 “英诗精选100首汉译” 其中24首儿童诗妙趣横生。作者:加拿大刘小曼
我的博客详细介绍http://www.backchina.com/u/358517
最后修改: 2016-08-04 04:38 由 刘小曼36.

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2016-08-04 11:31 - 2016-08-04 11:33 #10 刘小曼36
刘小曼36 回复: (1) 古词英译:金缕曲 (2) 双语原创“几多愁” (3)英译“蝶恋花”
My gym workout diary 运动日记 (两则 )

第一则 对自己辛苦付出的奖励

Last night I indulged myself with 3cans of beer, half a roasted duck,three bowls of rice and 2 pieces of chocolate cake to celebrate that I had successfully jogged about 10 miles on the treadmill for 4 hours during the day time . I got the day off rom work yesterday, therefore I had my workout done at separate times-- 2 hours in the morning and another 2 hours in the afternoon.

昨夜为了庆祝我白天成功地在跑步机上跑了4小时,大概是16公里,我喝了3瓶啤酒, 吃了半支烤鸭, 三碗米饭和两块巧克力蛋糕。昨天我休息并且在不同时段做了运动--早上2两小时,下午两小时。

This time I really determine to lose 30 pounds in 6 months. 这次我真的下定了决心在半年内减掉30磅。



I purchased my YMCA membership the other day, and I was told by the staff that I can stop by to work out anytime I want during their operation hours. 那天我买了YMCA的会员资格。工作人员说我可以在他们开放的时间内的任何时候都可以来做运动。

July 12, 2016


第二则 大力士


今天在Gym在我划艇的时候突然听见身后奇怪的声音。

Gym里的人不算多, 大概十几二十个。这是一个与时俱进的Gym,设备应有尽有:跑步机,自行车,举重设备,楼梯机,哑铃,哑壶,等等各种各样。 可惜不让拍照。

我回头望见那发出怪声的家伙,是一个很肥壮的小伙子,他正在举重。好像快挺不住的样子,发出怪声,可见是又想硬顶住的样子,那声音就像受伤的动物发出的,真是让人忍不住发笑。

举重区域也是举哑铃的地方,经常我看到不少大力士在那里举哑铃, 他们手臂肌肉是一条条的,像是会跳舞的样子,一看那哑铃,50磅!

我在想,下次我用纸做两个80磅尺码的哑铃,涂上相同的颜色,以假乱真, 偷偷拿进去,然后若无其事的举,看看那些大力士们的反应。

August 4, 2016

使君才气卷波澜,与把好诗再译。 “英诗精选100首汉译” 其中24首儿童诗妙趣横生。作者:加拿大刘小曼
我的博客详细介绍http://www.backchina.com/u/358517
最后修改: 2016-08-04 11:33 由 刘小曼36.

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